well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize