How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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