good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
