he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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