Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
