wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
