I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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