He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
