I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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