I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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