NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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