if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
