I love black thongs
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
