The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
