I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
4 words: hood of his car
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
