I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
