Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
