Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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