He kissed a someone with a penis
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize