Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
