it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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