I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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