sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
