Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
