Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
