I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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