Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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