Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I will be naked everywhere
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
