I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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