ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
