Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
