fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
