fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
