I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
