tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
