I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
