toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize