i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
