I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
