yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
