I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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