i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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