First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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