This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
