she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
