I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
