He felt like a one man threesome
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
