I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
