Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
