On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
