Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
