Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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