u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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