I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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