Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
