I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
