i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
