i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
