this beer tastes like vomit already
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
