I must be too annoying 4 u.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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