so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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