found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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