I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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