Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
