Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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