PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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