I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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