I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize