Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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