what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
