Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
