I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
