Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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