in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
