I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
