ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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